vegeterians for meatloaf? what a fruitcake!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8zUaYuSpyE

can you believe this guy?
how many days till yom kippur!

song of songs

trust me
Regina Spektor is a starlet rising,
and even more-so because we went to high school together and we would sing together in the back of my dad's car on the way home from play practice.
Therefore I expect some royalties!

it is funny how life works:

she opens for the Strokes

and I heal them

check out her music here: http://www.reginaspektor.com/index2.htmlon the main page click "music", click on "songs" and then listen closely, especially "sampson", which makes me cry sometimes

Goy ( Boy) Toy

Sometimes when I pass by a darkened window/full length mirror and catch a glimpse of the result of Krispy Kreme feedings on my gluteus maximus I can't help but thinking of Travis. Ok, really my big tuchus and a hot , sweet, aryan, corn- fed midwestern non jewish resident in "mini-soda" have nothing to do with eachother... except that this goy once "had it bad" for me (in his words) despite my Jewish ASSets!
this is one of my best feel good stories, so I must share ( sorry for repeating it, but damn I feel special!)

Travis Mcgoy (very close to his real name) never really said much to me in med school. He sat towards the back of the room with a group of nice goy guys, all pretty much blond, good mannered, good student, mamas boys who probably threw a good party- but if there was, I was never invited. I was super Jew girl, the only orthodox girl in my class, maybe ever in my med school. I dressed funny, I never went out friday night, I sat in the front, took good notes and liked to raise my hand a lot in lecture ( I am surprised that there were no spitballs in my hair!)
Every day I sat through the first class with my Balance bar and a bottle of water, munch, scribble, slurp, munch...
little did I know I was being endearing!
first I met Tom, Travis' best friend. Tom and I once got into a discussion about how I can't date non jewish guys, he was very offended, but if I recall, he was engaged to his now wife then...
next I met Travis.
We were both the only two students doing a neuro elective second year. Every week we sat together in our dress up clothes, often laughing at how we managed to coordinate our colors (note to self, get darker shades on my apartmet windows) - boy did he look good in pink! But being that he's a goy, and I am trained well in the art of repression, I never really thought about Travis in THAT way.
We would sit and chat until our preceptors swept us apart for the afternoon. This lasted two months.
Years of med school "flew" by, and once in a while, we would say "hey" in the library, and then I'd notice his group of friends muttering and laughing. "great" I thought, "laugh at super Jew!"
this was so 4th grade, but whatever, pulling my braids would have been very welcome advances in my"radiant" dating life.

Then, as life passes like grass that withers in the night (psalms) I found myself at match day, fourth year. Travis matched at an esteemed program in mini-soda, I matched at a shabbos program in New York ( montagues and capulets, no?)

Travis came up to me, and looked down and said, "congrats on your match, I'm happy for you",
"Thanks Travis" I replied, "I am very impressed with yours!! Good luck". Ok, time to get back to my conversation with my diet coke, but alas, Travis blurts out like George washington's "I cannot tell a lie"...
SG, I THINK YOU ARE GREAT, I HAVE LIKED YOU FROM THE START OF MED SCHOOL, I HAVE HAD A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU AND I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOW OR I NEVER WILL, I WILL TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT LATER
and he walks away with his posse onto the balcony

what the &^%$#????

Is this some super jew joke? but he looked so serious and he was sweating little beads on his upper lip and his oceanic blue eyes swelled like the waves that tickle your feet on a sweltering day.

Ok, what to do? get another diet coke and then make my way to the balcony.

"were you serious, Travis?" I asked.

"yeah, SG, I have had it bad for you from the begining, watching you in class, always dressed so cute, with your breakfast bar in the morning, the way you are so curious in class, the way you play with your hair when you are thinking ( I do???), SG, you are something special, and I don't want to let you get away! Can I call you please? can we hang out? before I move away, or I will regret this the rest of my life"
and then, I hear the voice of my high school teacher in my head
"yidin, if you are in college and Chris your lab partner asks you to a baseball game, don't go, because he might be interested in more than the popcorn"

my stomach sinks, what to do?
well Travis is not Chris, it's a completely different name, and I am not in college in lab...

so,
I gave him my number and memorized his smile.

and I went home and thought of my relatives that perished in the Holocaust
and of Yassir Arafat
and the KKK
and that stupid kid and the roller rink when I was in 5th grade that threw a rock at me and called me "jew"

I had a bad case of Jewish Guilt

that night we had a match day party at a club in "Beansville". I got all dressed up, ready to celebrate the rest of my life and my 200,000 debt.
of course Travis was there,
he came up to me and said I looked hot, he leaned in to talk because it was loud music and he smelled like something just out of the dryer, and then I...

walked away to get a diet coke ( ok, I was a little obsessed but I was trying to look good for this other yokel who was going to visit me from Israel to go on a date)

he came up to find me and called me baby.
I would have melted a thousand times over if his name was shmuley or even Jacob.
instead it made me feel weird.

he begged to go to a movie, and I said,
Travis, I know this might sound strange, but I am an Orthodox Jew, I keep Kosher, do strange rituals, I dont use electricity on friday and saturday, I am really different than you might know.

"SG, I dont care, I like you for you" "all that doesn't matter to me, you are still you, and you are incredible, baby"

ooh, this is getting hard

I left

Travis called me and left a sweet message

I called him back
and left his answering machine a message that hurt to deliver:

" I am not permitted to date non Jews, I really like you Travis, it is not against you, but it is something I have believed in for 26 years. I wish I could change things, but this is who I am. I am sorry and hope you understand this. I wish you all the best in residency"

Travis called me that night and I let it go to voice mail.

he sounded like he was crying, he siad he was undertsanding and impressed at how devoted I am to by beliefs and that he will miss me and think of me.

G-d, whoever you have in mind for me better have been worth this.

every one has their real life fairy tale, but life doesn't always end happily ever after.

brown paper packages tied up with string these are a few of my favorite...

internet sites!

here they go in no specific order of procrastination:

www.dlisted.blogspot.com-
you know you love it as it rolls off the tongue- lashon hora baby! ok, so it is assur, but I think Hashem has a clause somewhere in there which exempts celebs, right?
well to Gehenom or not, this is THE best site for fab pics of celebs looking rediculous! and it is updated daily with loads of pics and info!

www.defamer.com
a close second to dlisted, but a little west coast for my likings, check it for a good belly laugh!

www.onlysimchas.com
oh my gosh, my ex boyfriends sister's ex fiance is marrying my hairdresser's daughter from Great Neck ( and I thought he was a fay) mazal tov! may you be zocheh to kiss my...
oh my gosh, gittie had gastric bypass, though pink is not her color, even if she can now fit down the aisle with the other bridesmaids.
wow, shmonah esrei l'chupah, was that supposed to be literal?

to be followed by:
www.sawyouatsinai.com
for only the price of one date a month( that you weren't paying for to start with since you are a hermit), you can be set up by shadchans.who don't give a hoot, with balding, divorced, 57 year old butchers from Oregon. - who chas v'shalom don't watch TV, own a TV or go to movies ( because it is so easy to just entertain yourself with internet porn!)

www.bangitout.com
funny upper west side humor
things not yet seen on their top ten, but will be there shortly:
top then ways to know that the baby is his
top ten ways to tell him about your STD without forgoing an invite for "cholent"
top ten excuses for walks of shame
top ten ways to hide his teffilin bag in your Fendi at The Prime Grill on your second date

www.jdate.com
ok, the guys are a little modern ( goyim!)but some are very nice eye candy
and you can search by degree, that means you can make mom happy with a nice "jewish" doctor

www.ebay.com

who needs mall of america? if you can dream of some obscure crap, chances are someone is dying to part with it. and it is my very secret source for designer stuff on the cheap

www.google.com
Going on a date and want to know shloymee's shady past? just google his little tuchus! ooh, he has a PHD and volunteered with habitat for humanity, and ok, so he's also a porn star in Madrid, I'll just let that one slide...

www.frumster.com

for comic relief after being rejected on sawyouatsinai.
( for the 104th time this week)

www.zappos.com
shoes glorious shoes, free shipping, free returns, and you can search!!!

www.girlprops.com
cheap plastic trendy jewelry

www.bluefly.com
you designer whore, get thee to a brothel, or a sample sale

www.dailycandy.com
all the best of what's going down in your hood, including the internet

www.itsbenign.blogpsot.com
has there ever been a site as well written? able to bring you to tears while simultaneously snorting your chocolate soy milk up your nose-- lindsay Ho-han and kate moss made this quite fashionable

lobster, not so treif?

Not if it's what you look like after a glorious vacation to the Bahamas ( not to make anyone jealous God forbid!)

yes, my short dissapearence form bloggland was due to some well deserved R and R in Nassau ( the island, not the county on Long Island)
After a 25 hour shift in the diarrhea diagnosis center( ER) I was on my way! I ran straight to the airport, and just made my flight. It was a nice start as there were only 50 people aboard and I had a whole row and leg room to stretch out and sleep three hours.

I arrived in sunny Bahamas, a nice 73 degrees, and sun strong enough to turn my skin to a nice russett hue. I found my room in the giant, but very ugly and creepy hotel ( more creepy stories to come, just wait!) this was no 4 star, I learned once again, that there are no good deals on expedia!
After a breakfast of Edy's Rum Raisin( doesn't Rum have something to do with the bahamas? I considered it cultural immersion) It was off to the beach.

Unfortunately, vacation is often where I learn that there really are people named Verne, with tattoos that say " RV's are my true love" I am glad to be a stuck up New Yorker sometimes!
I avoided the straw chewin bahama mama T shirt wearing bumpkins, found my place in the "shade" and took a little nap....... oops four hours later, I awake in a daze to a voice and answer, "ok, I'll take a pina colada in a souveneir glass"- well that put me out ten bucks and another hour.

I managed to get back to my room and dressed in time to start making my wayinot the big city of Nassau.
"Com'on my lady, we are off to a wild ride" said the driver of the number 10 bus that I flagged down...
and we were...

more to come!