standing tall

"healer, heal thyself"


I spent last night hyperemetic- fancy word for many many oral donations to the porcelain god. Now don't get all excited, I did not go out, party, drink too much and get impregnated by Brad Pitt..
that was last week,

but today, resident, slave, SG is sick as a dog!

At 5 am, when the alarm went off, I had to make a decision, go to work, or go to work,
after much contemplation and trying to remember which way the bathroom was I stumbled in the dark to the shower, froze off my tuchus( which must be a little smaller today thanks to my ailment) and grabbed a set of scrubs and a sweatshirt and ran out the door. I managed to get to work avoiding the heebeegeebees, ran four blocks to the hospital and was of course late, as usual.
Wet hair and all, I turn to my peers for some TLC, Ughh, I am sooooo sick, I wine. "Why don't you go to the closet and put in an IV for yourself and run some D101/2 NS and some zofran? you can completely walk around withe the IV pole and get your work done, no bigee" - said one helpfull, but clearly delusional co-resident.

wait a minute, I think...
I look down at my ankle,
where's the chain?
where's the ball?
where's the Martha Stewart -esque stylish yet functional ankle alarm bracelet?
could it be I was in Hotel California ( aka, prisoners of my own device)

I AM A HUMAN BEING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( INTERNAL PRIMAL SCREAM)

I am sick! I want to sit down, drink tea, watch bad movies on channel 11, and sleep for 482 hours! I want my mom to put a washcloth with cool water on my scorching forehead, I want to go home!

and so, SG, breaking the rules of residency (written and unwritten) marched( ok, slugged) into the chief resident's office, took one feverish look into the eyes of the chief (and may I add, if I wasn't ill, I'd still be burning up, he is one hottie!) and said, I am sick, I can't work, I will vomit on little babies and women in labor, I need to leave, please replace me.
Now I would like to say that chief resident offered me a chair and a backrub,
instead he said, Ok, ask one of your peers to cover your delivery pager( evil monster) when you finish your work in the nursery and you can switch call with Denise ( I was supposed to be on 30 hours tonight)

I didn't move mountains

I went and spent 4 hours discharging, drawing blood, examening neonates and teaching mommies how to not kill their babies by the time they come back in a week for newborn follow up.

I didn't move a mountain,
but I did stand tall
I never signed away my life.

now where is the remote? wait, I don't have a TV!!!! arghhhh