nothing aganist brooklyn, but...
My first posting, here goes: ( no applause please)
Just came back from a date tonight. He was sephardic, from Brooklyn and we met through a Jewish internet set up site. www.sawyouatsinai.com . Could this be funnier without a story?
I am at a point of dating frustration. I haven't dated much in my life, maybe a grand total of 23 guys( and this includes even one date!) not too great for these 26 years. You might be wondering why... since I am outgoing, have a great career, many friends and a self declared hot mama... I am wondering the same thing ( any ideas, please post!). Anyway, I digress... so he meets me at 9 at my place, he hadn't called in a week since we had set this date up, which I thought means it was off. I was on the phone with friends, planning a fun sat night out when he calls, "how are you doing?" "do you want to come meet me somewhere in between brooklyn and queens tonight?"( and what borough might that be???) "no, I'm too tired to drive tonight, why don't you come pick me up!" like I am not even worth picking up! anyway, so much for a girls night out. Ok, I agree to go despite the MIA week. He calls because he is late, "sorry, I am lost" good thing my middle name is mapquest! he picks me up, and is sitting directly behind another car, was I supposed to jump over it to let myself into the passenger side? "hi" "do you mind moving up?" I get in the car bang my head, smooth smooth SG! oy, I can't help it, some combo of being an amazonian Jewess, wearing slippery heels, and a short sports car. Hi, again, he doesn't look and me and says "where to?" oh no, I knew it, this wasn't my date, this was a cab! shoot, now I am in the wrong car, what must my poor date think?
About to reach for the door, "so you have any place in mind, I mean you live here, where can we go that is nice?" Hmmm.. I've never seen a cabbie interested in the niceness of our destination, and wait, there's no partition for the backseat.. shoot number 2, this IS my date! "hi" , I say again, though I am not sure if I can use the excuse "I think I have a bad connection, can you repeat yourself" when there's no crummy cell in sight. "Uhm, well, this is Queens, there's nothing really nice" "COMEON!!! he yells, I GOTTA MOVE!!!!!! oh no, abusive date, damn I hate these types! it's too late to jump out ,he is speeding away from my abode and those DVDs that would be much more entertaining than a night out with a date beater. Oh well, it's one for the blog, I think and decide to suffer through it. I suggest a nice place where we went as a family for thanksgiving, good food, always tables, no one I know.. OK! As we are just past it, I think my heart rate is back from tachycardia land, and I say, ok, it's over there. he says, what about this other place? and names something vaguelly familiar, fine, anywhere, just out of being alone in a car with this boy! suddenly his car must have turned into a batmobile as he attempts to fly through the streets of queens, makeing sudden 180's with the agility of a sumo wrestler on ice skates.
In one piece we arrive at the place after he tells me that he is a racist, hates blacks, and "I'm a numbers guy, just look who fills the prisons in the US?" when I reply, "you mean MEN?" he says "no, it's those damn shvartsas" ok, he is a date beater, sumo wrestling, racist, sephardi from Brooklyn working in the shmata business. Now why are we compatable? "you must be a people person? " if he means a human being, then I guess he has pinpointed exactly what sets us apart!
Turns out the restaurant needed reservations, Mr. chest hair entangled in chains wouldn't have been smooth enough to know that... not that I am bitter, just cold and wearing heels. "oh look, there's the owner of www.sawyouatsinai.com sitting there!" I see they are on a first name basis, now how much did the date slip him to get a date with me through the site? arghh!
Finally we get to a third place, he runs out of the car before I can even slamn my door, uhm, care waiting, who was I kidding?!
We order appetizers only, the waiter was black, very nice, he asked "no entrees?" the date just sneers, chuckles and I say politely, "no thanks".
We have a conversation, oh I mean he has a conversation, and finally through some good guacomole and chinese beef, he asks, "care for dessert". Well, anyone who knows SG knows there's no passing up dessert (even with my pipe dreams of getting skinny by Sunday for my sister's engagement party) so I suffer through some delectable chocolate mousse cake and something about how he has dated 200 syrian women but never made it past the first date. I couldnt resist "were they all from the same harem?" hee hee, big belly laugh here! "what's a harem" damn, humor is just lost on ice skating sumo wrestlers!
arghh...
he drives me home, parks a few houses away, turns and said, with a smile" It was really great meeting you" "I wish you an easy shift tommorow" to which I reply, thank you" and "bye"
I even smiled ( look the Hillel Theater Group came in handy!)
I rushed upstairs to start my blog,
people are always saying, " SG, your stories! you could fill a book"
and I could,
but I won't bore you with one tonight...
thanks for reading.
SG
Just came back from a date tonight. He was sephardic, from Brooklyn and we met through a Jewish internet set up site. www.sawyouatsinai.com . Could this be funnier without a story?
I am at a point of dating frustration. I haven't dated much in my life, maybe a grand total of 23 guys( and this includes even one date!) not too great for these 26 years. You might be wondering why... since I am outgoing, have a great career, many friends and a self declared hot mama... I am wondering the same thing ( any ideas, please post!). Anyway, I digress... so he meets me at 9 at my place, he hadn't called in a week since we had set this date up, which I thought means it was off. I was on the phone with friends, planning a fun sat night out when he calls, "how are you doing?" "do you want to come meet me somewhere in between brooklyn and queens tonight?"( and what borough might that be???) "no, I'm too tired to drive tonight, why don't you come pick me up!" like I am not even worth picking up! anyway, so much for a girls night out. Ok, I agree to go despite the MIA week. He calls because he is late, "sorry, I am lost" good thing my middle name is mapquest! he picks me up, and is sitting directly behind another car, was I supposed to jump over it to let myself into the passenger side? "hi" "do you mind moving up?" I get in the car bang my head, smooth smooth SG! oy, I can't help it, some combo of being an amazonian Jewess, wearing slippery heels, and a short sports car. Hi, again, he doesn't look and me and says "where to?" oh no, I knew it, this wasn't my date, this was a cab! shoot, now I am in the wrong car, what must my poor date think?
About to reach for the door, "so you have any place in mind, I mean you live here, where can we go that is nice?" Hmmm.. I've never seen a cabbie interested in the niceness of our destination, and wait, there's no partition for the backseat.. shoot number 2, this IS my date! "hi" , I say again, though I am not sure if I can use the excuse "I think I have a bad connection, can you repeat yourself" when there's no crummy cell in sight. "Uhm, well, this is Queens, there's nothing really nice" "COMEON!!! he yells, I GOTTA MOVE!!!!!! oh no, abusive date, damn I hate these types! it's too late to jump out ,he is speeding away from my abode and those DVDs that would be much more entertaining than a night out with a date beater. Oh well, it's one for the blog, I think and decide to suffer through it. I suggest a nice place where we went as a family for thanksgiving, good food, always tables, no one I know.. OK! As we are just past it, I think my heart rate is back from tachycardia land, and I say, ok, it's over there. he says, what about this other place? and names something vaguelly familiar, fine, anywhere, just out of being alone in a car with this boy! suddenly his car must have turned into a batmobile as he attempts to fly through the streets of queens, makeing sudden 180's with the agility of a sumo wrestler on ice skates.
In one piece we arrive at the place after he tells me that he is a racist, hates blacks, and "I'm a numbers guy, just look who fills the prisons in the US?" when I reply, "you mean MEN?" he says "no, it's those damn shvartsas" ok, he is a date beater, sumo wrestling, racist, sephardi from Brooklyn working in the shmata business. Now why are we compatable? "you must be a people person? " if he means a human being, then I guess he has pinpointed exactly what sets us apart!
Turns out the restaurant needed reservations, Mr. chest hair entangled in chains wouldn't have been smooth enough to know that... not that I am bitter, just cold and wearing heels. "oh look, there's the owner of www.sawyouatsinai.com sitting there!" I see they are on a first name basis, now how much did the date slip him to get a date with me through the site? arghh!
Finally we get to a third place, he runs out of the car before I can even slamn my door, uhm, care waiting, who was I kidding?!
We order appetizers only, the waiter was black, very nice, he asked "no entrees?" the date just sneers, chuckles and I say politely, "no thanks".
We have a conversation, oh I mean he has a conversation, and finally through some good guacomole and chinese beef, he asks, "care for dessert". Well, anyone who knows SG knows there's no passing up dessert (even with my pipe dreams of getting skinny by Sunday for my sister's engagement party) so I suffer through some delectable chocolate mousse cake and something about how he has dated 200 syrian women but never made it past the first date. I couldnt resist "were they all from the same harem?" hee hee, big belly laugh here! "what's a harem" damn, humor is just lost on ice skating sumo wrestlers!
arghh...
he drives me home, parks a few houses away, turns and said, with a smile" It was really great meeting you" "I wish you an easy shift tommorow" to which I reply, thank you" and "bye"
I even smiled ( look the Hillel Theater Group came in handy!)
I rushed upstairs to start my blog,
people are always saying, " SG, your stories! you could fill a book"
and I could,
but I won't bore you with one tonight...
thanks for reading.
SG
posted by 29 and mighy fine at 8:49 PM
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