Shakira wears a snood
ok, the title isn't exactly true, but if she was at last night's engagement party, it wouldn't have been far from the truth. My older (which was asked oh only a dozen times.. I can't help it if I don't look like malibu barbie!) sister's engagement to a Syrian yid( SY to those in the know) was celebrated in holy Brooklyn, AKA Syria. It was like nothing I had seen before!
I showed up at 8:15 for pictures, and surprise surprise my whole family was nowhere to be found. I made friends with the coat checkers (it helps that I am S. Lo when it comes to Spanish skills, well.. maybe for a Frum girl's standard) and went downstairs to see the Novia y novio . Shocker, they clean up pretty well!! No Joke! Sister SB was a vision in turqoise and sequins and three dimensional sequined flowers sewn onto the three thousand dollar frock( when did my parents win the lottery?) oh, and it was designed by the Syrian ( surprise number three, Syrian men like things their way!) She did look radiant, her hair, platinum ringlets cascading from a half pony- no frizz in sight!! aparently she was done up by the Syrian beauty resue team, not too shabby ( I guess they do have experience working miracles, I mean have you seen the unibrows these syrian babies are all born with?)
The two of them were posing for some very close knit photos, shomer negiah, what's that?
ok, so I am standing there alone, it is quite awkward, I keep standing there behind a fake palm tree (apparently Susie's wedding theme?) and then I made friends with the bartender julio, from Mexico. ( wedding proposal number one of the night) he told me that he is not rich, but has a rich heart and I would have a lifetime of drinking pleasure- tempting as it sounded at that moment of "get me out of this Arabian nightmare" , but if I am to afford a wedding half as fancy as this engagement party, I am going to have to look for riches below the belt( get your mind out of the gutter, I meant the pockets of course!)
mother in law aproaches. a vision in sequins and lace and frou frou... she says hi, we make friends and I notice she is giving me the once over- yes this tummy is real, not an implant, I would never be so fake, gosh! and yes, SB's family does own a fully stocked refrigerator( it is not my fault that SB can't seem to find it and subsists on parsely alone)
so I go back upstairs to be less awkward, knowing my life and my stories guess what happens next?
SG's exboyfriend walks in with friends.
here's the brief lowdown: we dated three years ago, he was my first real boyfriend, we dated nearly 6 months. I had some issues, I liked most of his personality, but not all. He was moody, it turned out to be depression, he is funny though- but he was no brad pitt if yaknowhatimean. Oh, and he lied to me about an ex-girlfriend, about having a jdate profile, and who knows what else!
anyway, he walked in took a look at me, sheepish dazed kinda grin and said hey as nonchalantly as he could muster. I said hi and gave a nice pleasent smile, sucked in my gut, and said how are you? ( does he know that for the past 4 weeks since finding out the date of this event I have been living in the hell of "I can't believe I let myself turn into a pint of lard over the past three years when I am going to see my ex boyfriend! I gotta look godd and kill him!") this past shabbos a good friend said I look fine, but I am not the thinnest I've been-( thanks for the ego boost AC!)
Anyway XBF showed up with a cute male friend!
hmm...
so to cut this blogg short,
the party was so fancy, amidst the mist( choking on it) from the grilling shawarma, there were palm trees, layers of tulle draped from the ceiling strung with lights and many many sequins chandeleirs! In fact the mother of the Syrian asked me, " what no sequins?" no, I replied, I am allergic!
I did some of my best Shakira shakin with my sisters while the syrian maidelah mafia looked on in
A. amusement
B. horror
C. hunger, did I mention how they ate like there was a famine in the land?
surprise number four: where were all those suposed gorgeous, perfectly coifed, size negative two Syrian ladies? guess we couldnt pry them from their tradmills for this.
In all I had a good time. syrians know how to party, they are fun, they smile, they hug, and they sparkle.
mazal tov, Ma'bruk!
I showed up at 8:15 for pictures, and surprise surprise my whole family was nowhere to be found. I made friends with the coat checkers (it helps that I am S. Lo when it comes to Spanish skills, well.. maybe for a Frum girl's standard) and went downstairs to see the Novia y novio . Shocker, they clean up pretty well!! No Joke! Sister SB was a vision in turqoise and sequins and three dimensional sequined flowers sewn onto the three thousand dollar frock( when did my parents win the lottery?) oh, and it was designed by the Syrian ( surprise number three, Syrian men like things their way!) She did look radiant, her hair, platinum ringlets cascading from a half pony- no frizz in sight!! aparently she was done up by the Syrian beauty resue team, not too shabby ( I guess they do have experience working miracles, I mean have you seen the unibrows these syrian babies are all born with?)
The two of them were posing for some very close knit photos, shomer negiah, what's that?
ok, so I am standing there alone, it is quite awkward, I keep standing there behind a fake palm tree (apparently Susie's wedding theme?) and then I made friends with the bartender julio, from Mexico. ( wedding proposal number one of the night) he told me that he is not rich, but has a rich heart and I would have a lifetime of drinking pleasure- tempting as it sounded at that moment of "get me out of this Arabian nightmare" , but if I am to afford a wedding half as fancy as this engagement party, I am going to have to look for riches below the belt( get your mind out of the gutter, I meant the pockets of course!)
mother in law aproaches. a vision in sequins and lace and frou frou... she says hi, we make friends and I notice she is giving me the once over- yes this tummy is real, not an implant, I would never be so fake, gosh! and yes, SB's family does own a fully stocked refrigerator( it is not my fault that SB can't seem to find it and subsists on parsely alone)
so I go back upstairs to be less awkward, knowing my life and my stories guess what happens next?
SG's exboyfriend walks in with friends.
here's the brief lowdown: we dated three years ago, he was my first real boyfriend, we dated nearly 6 months. I had some issues, I liked most of his personality, but not all. He was moody, it turned out to be depression, he is funny though- but he was no brad pitt if yaknowhatimean. Oh, and he lied to me about an ex-girlfriend, about having a jdate profile, and who knows what else!
anyway, he walked in took a look at me, sheepish dazed kinda grin and said hey as nonchalantly as he could muster. I said hi and gave a nice pleasent smile, sucked in my gut, and said how are you? ( does he know that for the past 4 weeks since finding out the date of this event I have been living in the hell of "I can't believe I let myself turn into a pint of lard over the past three years when I am going to see my ex boyfriend! I gotta look godd and kill him!") this past shabbos a good friend said I look fine, but I am not the thinnest I've been-( thanks for the ego boost AC!)
Anyway XBF showed up with a cute male friend!
hmm...
so to cut this blogg short,
the party was so fancy, amidst the mist( choking on it) from the grilling shawarma, there were palm trees, layers of tulle draped from the ceiling strung with lights and many many sequins chandeleirs! In fact the mother of the Syrian asked me, " what no sequins?" no, I replied, I am allergic!
I did some of my best Shakira shakin with my sisters while the syrian maidelah mafia looked on in
A. amusement
B. horror
C. hunger, did I mention how they ate like there was a famine in the land?
surprise number four: where were all those suposed gorgeous, perfectly coifed, size negative two Syrian ladies? guess we couldnt pry them from their tradmills for this.
In all I had a good time. syrians know how to party, they are fun, they smile, they hug, and they sparkle.
mazal tov, Ma'bruk!
posted by 29 and mighy fine at 7:55 AM
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