No, really, I AM religious!

( Btw, his is not a picture of me as a child...)

This is something that has plagued me since starting my residency here in Jew York City (btw, props to www.jewyorkcity.blogspot.com) so I thought I'd vent it here on my blog:

YES!!!!! I AM RELIGIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, here is where the pent up anger starts from.
As you may have guessed, my nice shomer shabbos residency program's hospital is overrun with yids. I feel a special connection to these families and make an effort to reach out to them to make sure their needs are met, but this is where the trouble starts!
Today, I see a sheitel( I can spot on with my eyes closed in a 60 city block radius) so I say hello to this mom. she smiles and asks me where there are towels ( will I ever look the part of doctor so parents stop confusing me with the nurses/orderlies/secretaries?) I heard an Israeli accent so I answered her in Hebrew. She then asked, are you Jewish????
No, I am a catholic nun who learns Hebrew in the convent for fun!
argh!!!
Instead I answer, of course! to which she says, well how did you learn Hebrew?. I explain that I am an American who studied Hebrew from grades1-12 and learned in Israel for a year. Her mouth drops open, so you know about Judaism?
No, I've been learning Hebrew to become a Bahai priestess!
I then answer, I am dati ( relig) to which she politely smiles and nods, the way you might do for a patients in a psychiatry ward who says there are purple aliens in a closet waiting to get me.
I look at her and politely smile.

What gives?
Is it my Swedish supermodel good looks that are throwing off the masses? wink wink..

**************pause for laughter*********************


Or maybe it is my scrubs, which are really so racy they should start selling them at Victoria's Secret.

Well maybe it is, quite honestly..
I have noticed in Jew York more than any other Jewish community we segregate ourselves as Jews so carefully based on our tribal garments that one fashion misstep and you are excommunicated! ( little did I know Prada was Lubavitch and Gucci was Satmar, I had it completely wrong, do I need to do Teshuvah??)
When did we become so judgmental on outward appearances? What are we protecting ourselves from by being fashion clones and excluding all others?

Don't they know that in the words of Tsadekis Bette Middler:

From a distance we are instruments, marching in a common band.

From a distance you look like my friend,even though we are at war.

From a distance I just cannot comprehend what all this fighting is for.

Quite honestly, do you think the Goyish nurses on the unit know the difference? You order a Kosher lunch tray? You are Jewish! End of story!!!
why can't we see it that way?

I firmy believe that scrubs are worn for the purpose of work, unless you are hitting up the kishka a little too often, they are usually loose enough to not highlight the feminine form. This is tsniut. How we came to the belief that bullet proof tights and turtlenecks are necessary to be truly tsnius evades me! What next, gloves in the summer? have you seen my sexy cuticles?

Now if you'd excuse me, I need to hike up my scrub pants, I see a chasidish family approaching.