My ten plagues of pediatric residency
in the spirit of the holiday!
We all have our own personal plagues, much like the Jews as slaves in Egypt.
Here are mine, as a slave to pediatrics residency.
1. Blood- trying to draw it from the phantom veins of a pudgy infant who is crying, writhing, kicking my face ( as I am using my face to keep the brat in a headlock), peeing on my hands, while the parents are either cursing my existence, passing out, or trying to undo my headlock.
2. Frogs- the way I jump when my pager goes off, just as I spent the last 20 minutes gymnastically getting into the top bunk of the call room, begging for some shut eye in my 29 hour shift!
3. lice- "Oh sweetie, Dr. SG is so sorry you are sick, and your mommy left you all alone tonight in the hospital because she is having an affair with the gardener and flew to Vegas, with him ,when you have Ebola, come rest your head on my shoulder, on second thought, let's just hold hands.
4.swarming gnats- the med students I teach. Don't they know that on rounds you are not supposed to make your resident look bad!
5. Disease among the beasts- viral gastroenteritis, when every child in Long Island is vomiting, can't stand Pedialyte (even when their maid serves it in champagne glasses) and their parents who think a little vomiting means the end of their precious child prodigees.
6. Boils- Every skin rash that I can't yet diagnose. They must all be speaking Lashon Hora!
7.Hail- When it rains it pours- no fail, there will be at least 10 admission to do while I am on call
8.locusts- daily special in the gourmet hospital cafeteria.
9.Darkness- the way it looks outside when I get to work at 530 AM and when I leave at 7PM. Or what I pray for when I am trying to sleep during daylight after being awake on call 29 hours.
10. Murder of the firstborn. Intern= firstborn. Houskeeping gets mad about all the blood on the doorways.
We all have our own personal plagues, much like the Jews as slaves in Egypt.
Here are mine, as a slave to pediatrics residency.
1. Blood- trying to draw it from the phantom veins of a pudgy infant who is crying, writhing, kicking my face ( as I am using my face to keep the brat in a headlock), peeing on my hands, while the parents are either cursing my existence, passing out, or trying to undo my headlock.
2. Frogs- the way I jump when my pager goes off, just as I spent the last 20 minutes gymnastically getting into the top bunk of the call room, begging for some shut eye in my 29 hour shift!
3. lice- "Oh sweetie, Dr. SG is so sorry you are sick, and your mommy left you all alone tonight in the hospital because she is having an affair with the gardener and flew to Vegas, with him ,when you have Ebola, come rest your head on my shoulder, on second thought, let's just hold hands.
4.swarming gnats- the med students I teach. Don't they know that on rounds you are not supposed to make your resident look bad!
5. Disease among the beasts- viral gastroenteritis, when every child in Long Island is vomiting, can't stand Pedialyte (even when their maid serves it in champagne glasses) and their parents who think a little vomiting means the end of their precious child prodigees.
6. Boils- Every skin rash that I can't yet diagnose. They must all be speaking Lashon Hora!
7.Hail- When it rains it pours- no fail, there will be at least 10 admission to do while I am on call
8.locusts- daily special in the gourmet hospital cafeteria.
9.Darkness- the way it looks outside when I get to work at 530 AM and when I leave at 7PM. Or what I pray for when I am trying to sleep during daylight after being awake on call 29 hours.
10. Murder of the firstborn. Intern= firstborn. Houskeeping gets mad about all the blood on the doorways.
posted by 29 and mighy fine at 5:46 PM
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