Roll The Credits

My blog has been a little impersonal as of late. I started it as a way to vent, to give people a glimpse of the glamour and drama that is my life. ( ha )

so here, fresh ink, a day in the life of SG:

Friday:
Alarm goes off at 425AM, snooze once, out the door by 505AM muttering to myself how I am late to work, thinking does this outfit make me look fat- since all week I have been wearing scrubs and finally Friday, afternoon clinic day I get to dress like an adult- I'm late because I debated over shoe choices. I want to look classy, a little trendy for my private clinic, but not too fashionable because the attendings in the Neonatal ICU during the morning won't take me seriously if I dress too funky. ( yet ironically wearing pajamas/scrubs to work is perfectly acceptable/ respectable.)
I get to work, in the door by 535 AM after struggling for a street parking spot. In the residents room I notice overnight they have given me two new patients and then I am covering three patients for a resident who is out at an interview. This brings my grand total to 8 front room babies-the most critical sick babies in the hospital, and 4 back room babies- less sick, but still not great. it is now 545, by 7 am, the attendings will be expecting me on rounds. I have to find out what happened since noon yesterday since I was out "post- call" and collect all lab results, study results, vitals, calculate total ins and outs, calculate TPN orders- complicated feeding done through and IV for babies that can't eat, stamp up and write weekend notes and TPN order sheets on all 12 babies, thoroughly examine all of them and come up with my plan for the day.
somehow, miracle of G-d, the attending don't show till 715. I go on rounds, the fellow rolls her eyes at me at least once per baby when I ask "simple" questions like should I transfuse a baby or not. She talks to me like I learned how to tie my shoes that morning. I try to make a joke and the attending just looks right through me and mutters about no morning coffee( was this a hint or something?) anyway, the fellow is rushing around making me look slow, the attending is losing patience while I am losing patients.
rounds end, someone has taken pity on me!
now its time to start working. It is 11 AM, I have to be in clinic by 12:15. I have about an hour to do an entire day's work.
At each bedside I need to rewrite all orders for the week ( Friday is the day to renew all orders) and the new ones from rounds, I need to then calculate all feeds, transfusions, drips etc based on the new gram weight of the baby today. I will do my best, move on to the next room and then look up to find a nurse shoving papers in my face "you made some errors in orders- 3 to be exact, please fix them I won't accept them! " I ask her what the errrors are, she just laughs and walk away. Ok, I guess I will get to that later- but before 12!.

I am only on my 3rd patient when the pharmacy calls- where are my TPN orders- they were due at 11. I tell them I am still making rounds- they laugh. by the time I make it to bedside 6 I have been paged three times by nurses telling me why their patient is on the deathbed because their orders aren't written yet. I tell them I am on my way, but am doing one kid at a time. They say, oh, you're so slow, guess you are one of the interns- thanks! I get to bed 12 by noon. Still a ton of paperwork to stamp up and write for the Saturday crew( who will HATE me if it is not done and will most likely make some comment about my shomer shabbos spot and how I am spoiled by it)

then, I need to find other residents to sign my patients out to, but they are all still rounding! I go back to that nurse that accosted me for orders to beg her to just take the orders or at least tell me which ones are wrong... oh, but she's at lunch. A luxury NURSES get- one hour to sit in the back room, watch TV, talk about recipes, which attendings they plan on shagging and dissing residents.

I get to the back room, find the nurse and 20 eyes are on me, why is a RESIDENT in OUR lounge! I notice one of my patient's parents brought in kosher cookies with a note- dear doctors and nurses, thank you for your kind service to out baby. I go to grab a cookie, it is noon and I haven't eaten since last night. Some nurse says, " did you chip in for cinco de mayo bagels, you really shouldn't eat our food!" this isn't worth arguing, I munch the cookie loudly in her direction.

its 1245, I have been paged 8 more times, did all my weekend work, almost signed out, out the door when a nurse comes running-

there is no consent, we can't give the blood transfusion. OH SH-t!! this kid is VERY sick, needed the blood 3 hours ago, why did we wait to transfuse??? argh, but mom is at home, she is 16, only speaks spanish, and I need a phone witness for consent how do you say transfusion in Spanish??... I am about to cry went he nurse says, oh, wait, I am not talking about YOUR baby, oops!!

I grab my coat, it is 1pm, Sh-t I am late to clinic AGAIN! oh well, I am stressed and starving, ok, well I am late already, so I head to the kosher cafeteria.
"French fries please" the crazy lunch lady who thinks she is a nutritionist tries to persuade me to have vegetables or fish with my fries. No just fries please ( like there aren't enough calories in the bowl of fries to sustain me for a week!)

I see some cute resident in the cafeteria- I don't have time to sit and talk- oh and did I mention hes married?

I run to my car with the fries

I get to clinic by 130

the office ladies ignore me- don't even know my name- I have been there for only 10 months, Ill give it time.

my supervising doctor saunters in. All tan, newly highlighted hair, a white pants suit with a huge gold belt, and a low cut sparkling gold shell, and two Louis vuitton bags.

she just came back from some Island somewhere she tells me..

but of course dahling!

anyway, I see 9 patients, most of their parents look at me suspiciously. Some ask "when do we see the REAL doctor???

I am about to pull out the copy of my med school diploma that I carry around for these occasions( kidding!) when my supervisor walks in, I see the parents resume breathing.

clinic is over by 530

I rush to my car,

shabbos is at 730, lots to do

traffic

home by 6

charge my ipod

then the trouble begins,
it is a gorgeous day. I promised myself that I would get back into running.
the frum freaks here start shabbos here at 7 to make those of us with jobs look bad for being "late". Everyone in the neighborhood seems to "know" me, yet no one says hello. Everything I am seen doing gets back to my grandparents who live 2 blocks away. I feel like I am on a sick reality show. I am perplexed with what I can wear running and not be shot by the tsnius police. I pull on a longer sleeved t shirt and my baggy pants.
I take the back alleys to avoid people going to shul. I get to the main drag and there are some more frumies-

I start my run,

the park is gorgeous when I get there. The pond glistens, the ducks swimming, the immigrants barbecuing and whistling at me as I bounce.
I get around the lake once, it is 650.
I run home

jump in the shower

blow dry my hair- curly

put on a very frum suits, too hot for stockings, I know such a slut!!!

get to my dinner by 745 and the hostesses says out loud - oh we saw you running by the highway a few minutes ago!

Anyway, there is a guy I know, in from another Borough at dinner, I know him from frumster for 3 years- he has never expressed interest even once kinda blew me off -yet looks at my profile weekly??. We hung out last week- fun but he was a little distant. He is checking me out, I turn to him and have a fake moment of " why didn't you tell me you were coming to my neighborhood?"
we have some banter, he offers to hold my keys.
he is by far the best looking guy in the room
though he seems to know that

as per routine

girls on one side, guys on the other

I spend the meal talking to the girls mostly

suprise surprise

they are
1. Speech therapists
2. Teachers in yeshiva
3. Social workers

they seem awed by my job

IF THEY ONLY KNEW

the girls and I got up to help

the guys and I ate- the other girls nibbled at the carb free grilled chicken

then the Oneg started, 40 people showed up

most were in their 40's

one older woman befriends me, and tells me her eyes downturned,
don't let them slip away, each year you get older it is harder and harder to find someone who wants to date you....

a lot of the older guys were standing in twos looking at me and whispering- good thing the alta kakas find me attractive.

I got asked my number a lot
but they were all women..

I asked the guy holding my keys to walk me home since it was midnight

he seemed "bothered" by it, but did anyway, in a group of mostly other residents.

On the way home some Russian man on the street screams something in my face-

I get back to my place

surprise no Israeli drug dealing going on outside..

I put on my Jamaica me crazy t shirt and fall into bed

it is 1 am,

all in a days work